Meditation
by Junipertree
Summary: A D/N romance. Kind of weird, so tell me what you think.


OK, this is mostly a one-chapter kind of thing, no sequels. Kind of lame. A kind of D/N romance, to earn some credit that I will lose double over once _Tortall's Twin, Part 2: Daine_ comes out. D/N fans, you had better not read that! I got the idea from listening to _Meditation from Thais._ It took me three times listening to it before an idea popped into my head. First from Sally, then Brynne, then Rebecca. Man, it takes a long time for things to get through to me!! Nothing in this story belongs to me, even the title doesn't. I worship you TP, for letting me use your characters!!!

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Meditation

Daine breathed slowly, in, and out. In, and out. Even though she was no longer with the Riders, she still meditated consistently. It gave her a kind of peace of mind and connection with the People that she didn't get any other time of day. I helped to relax her mind, and to let go of her thoughts. Slowly she let go, let herself slide into the peace that was her mind. Thoughts drifted, slid together, wafted apart. This was meditation...

I walk on a long, wide path. I can see the flowers on either side of the road. Everything is calm, quiet. The wind blows softly against my skin, soft as silk. I sit down, tired, as if near the end of a long journey. The People sing around me, I hear their voices in beautiful song. The rhythm of Life. Here is safe, content. I fall asleep on the grass, wiggling my toes in the dense green growth. 

I see a man on the road, he is skinny, ragged. He is clad in little more than rags, his eyes are hollow and empty. He is not old, but he looks familiar. "Numair!" I cry. He doesn't notice me. I get up, run 

to him, but he doesn't make a move. Then he cries out as if in agony, clutching at his chest and collapsing. He falls onto the gravel, then explodes into dust. 

"Numair!" I cry again. I sift my hands through the thin dust of the spot where he once was. I see pictures, pictures of Numair the black hawk, his eyes pressing in and making me stumble. I see Varice, her face paint smeared by tears, mourning for her lover. Am I jealous? I don't know. I see myself, a hyena, no feelings but hate. I see Numair again, is he alive? I don't know. I see myself falling, falling through the rocks, being torn apart by bushes. Spidrens, monsters, entangling me, they're going to eat me, give me to the enemy. Numair, is he dead? Is he dust? Is he gone? He is kissing me. Does he love me? Is he like the men around Ma, just wanting to bed me? I can see his face, he is crying. The pictures are gone, he is gone. I fall to the dust, letting the tears make streak marks across my cheeks. Numair is gone to the dust. No longer. 

Then I see a baby. He is lying on the road, crying. I get on my knees, out of the dust. I walk towards the baby and lean over to pick him up, but he gets bigger. He grows, until he is the size of a six-year-old. "But Papa, I want to be a great mage." he says. He is still growing. I see an older boy, all elbows and knees. Then a young man, he is very handsome, and I move towards him. Then he looks around thirty or so. "Numair!" I cry. "You're here!" But he just smiles and gets older. I see an old man, grizzled and gray, bent over on a stick. I pull back in horror. Was Numair right? 

Would I someday wake up and see an old man? 

On the other side of the road, I see a baby girl. She sits there, gurgling with happiness, and grows older. I see a girl of five, saying, "Yes, Ma." I see a girl of ten, crying, leaning over something I cannot see. I see her older, mad, naked, knife in hand, as she kills another man. I see myself, kissing a man I cannot see, tears on her face. I see a grown woman, holding something in her arms and cooing softly. I see an old crone, eyes twinkling as she tells a tale to an invisible audience. I see the boy and the girl, I do not know what age they are. They are holding hands. 

Numair is waving, they are fading away, retreating into the darkness. "Numair! Don't leave me!" I cry. But he just smiles and waves. I try to run closer, but they fade farther and farther into the distance...

Daine was jolted out of her meditation to feel tears on her face. She sighed and relaxed. A knock at the door made her get up, and she winced as long unused muscles stretched. Daine opened the door to see Numair, hands full with some kind of equipment for his latest experiment. 

"Numair!" Daine cried, and ran to embrace him, as Numair dropped all the packages he was holding. "I won't let you go, Numair." she looked up. "I accept your proposal," she said, tears in her eyes. "Don't you ever leave me."

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OK, ok, I know that was really cheesy and weird and lame. But I like it, okay? It is like this really weird dream scene. The point I am trying to get across (yes, there is a moral!!) Is that ages don't really mean anything. (a.k.a., the boy and the girl who Daine sees grow up) A long time ago, like sixteen year old girls would have to marry men like three times their age. S'true! Anyway, please R/R and give me as much flames as you damn well want. I was feeling very sentimental when I wrote this. Excuse me as I switch to emenem.


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